Opposite Sex
by Falcon Horus
Summary: (AU) The biggest boysclub meets the biggest girls club!


Title: Opposite Sex  
  
Author: Horus  
  
E-mail: thot_bastet@hotmail.com  
  
Status: finished  
  
Category: alternate universe, humor  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Summary: What starts of as a regular mission ends up to be quite out of the ordinary.  
  
Disclaimer: Stargate Sg-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author.  
  
Author's notes: I would like to thank Sara for betareading my story. I would really appreciate feedback. Good or bad!  
  
The Gate opened on P5X-021. SG-1 and CJ stepped through and started to explore the area surrounding the Gate. Daniel had noticed a building not far from the Chapa'ai. He wandered off to do some archaeological research.  
  
"Hey Daniel, where you going?" Jack saw the temple-like building and sighed. "Here we go again!" He gathered the rest of his team and followed his archaeologist / anthropologist.  
  
They were all staring at the temple. It was a round building with a pointy roof. It had been painted but most of the red color had vanished. The temple also looked as if it hadn't been used for a long while. Plants and other unidentifiable stuff were hanging all over the place. Daniel tried to open the only door.  
  
"Hey, hello! Can somebody give me a hand here?"  
  
"I'll give you two hands, Dr. Jackson." The big Jaffa placed his shoulder against the door but it didn't move an inch. That made Jack decide to do it the hard way, and probably the most amusing way too. The struggle to open the door had started. It was now SG-1 and CJ versus the temple-door.  
  
Eventually the door gave in and the Tauri and the Jaffa fell on the temple- floor, in a heap of waving legs and arms.  
  
"Get the hell off me!" Sam and CJ were lying on top of Jack but were unable to move because Daniel and Teal'c were on top of them. When they finally managed to untangle themselves they could see what the temple had to offer them.  
  
"It's empty." They all turned around to witness the emptiness of the building. "Maybe that's why the doors were so hard to open!" They all looked at Daniel who dropped his disappointed gaze to the floor. "Okay, kids, let's go home!" Jack turned around, left the temple and went back to the Gate.  
  
"But Jack, we could ."  
  
"No Daniel! We're going home!"  
  
"But ." Daniel tried to stop his friend from leaving.  
  
"Listen, Daniel, home is where my beer is and that's where we're going! . And that's an order!"  
  
"You can't order me anything!"  
  
"I just did! Carter, dial us out!"  
  
"Yes Sir! Come on, CJ."  
  
The gate opened with a loud kawoosh. The Colonel sent the code to open the iris and then the team left the 'empty' planet.  
  
"Attention all personal, offworld-activation! Unknown source!" The voice in the speakers alarmed half the base. The other half were already in the control room worrying about what was going to come through that big ring of pure naquada.  
  
"It's SG-1, Sir!"  
  
"Uh, Lt., we're right over here!" The General looked at her first team and then to the Gate.  
  
"Open the iris!" They all went down to the gate room and were surprised when a familiar-looking SG-team stepped through the event-horizon.  
  
"Ah, it's good to.be.home!" SG-1 was looking surprised. Right in front of them was a big woman. She looked an awful lot like General Hammond. "Uh, we're home.right?"  
  
CJ started to laugh. It was an uncontrollable laugh. Somewhere between the hiccups and the laughs they made out two unwelcome but familiar words, 'alternate' and 'universe'.  
  
"Did CJ just say what I think she just said?"  
  
"I think so, Sir."  
  
"Oh, for crying out loud!"  
  
"Hey, that's my line!" A tall, grey-haired woman came up the ramp and positioned herself in front of Colonel O'Neill. They started to study each other from head to toe and back.  
  
"You look like...like me!"  
  
"Oh brother!"  
  
"That would be me!" From behind the bunch of women appeared a young, blond- haired man.  
  
"I'm Major Samuel Carter. Let me introduce you to my General and my team mates." He walked up the ramp and started to introduce his friends. "This is General Hammond. I see you have already met Colonel Jackie O'Neill and those are Dr. Danielle Jackson and Teal'c." SG-1 were still standing in the middle of the ramp, gazing at their counterparts. "Yeah, I know it's the biggest girls club in the world!" Carter looked confused at her 'brother'.  
  
"Why don't I introduce us to these people?" Daniel finished cleaning his glasses, set them back on his nose and started to introduce his friends. "I'm Dr. Daniel Jackson. These are Colonel Jack O'Neill, Major Sam Carter, Teal'c and this is CJ Fraiser."  
  
At that moment they could see a boy glide into the control room. He seemed to stumble and loose control of whatever it was on his feet allowing him to glide, and bumped into the window. It was a ridiculous thing to see, his face flat against the window. The lieutenant who was sitting behind the computer promptly let the shield down. SG-1 minus CJ were trying to keep the upcoming laugh under control.  
  
"Why don't we all go to the briefing room. There we can see if we can do something for our counterparts." The whole bunch of women followed their General. Samuel stayed a little behind them. Together with SG-1 he entered the briefing room.  
  
The briefing room was not that different from SG-1's briefing room except in this one there was a table with some nice home-made linen on it.  
  
"I see you've been busy again, General?"  
  
"Indeed Samuel, indeed, it's been a busy afternoon, knitting and all." SG-1 looked at each other, confused. This time Sam gave CJ a warning look so that she wouldn't start laughing again. But it was no use; she bursted out in loud laughter.  
  
"Sir, will you excuse us for a minute?" Jack looked at his 2IC who took CJ by her collar.  
  
"Yeah, sure!"  
  
"Hey!" CJ struggled to break free but Sam had a firm grip and she dragged her pupil back into the hallway.  
  
"CJ! Stop acting like a complete idiot!"  
  
"But I can't help it. It's so funny. I mean, can you imagine, General Hammond knitting!" Once again CJ bursted out in loud laughter.  
  
"That's enough! You start behaving yourself or I'll make sure that the next trip we make is one without you!"  
  
"No, you can't do that!"  
  
"Yes, I can and I can do even more than that. I can also."  
  
"Stop! It's ok. I'll behave myself."  
  
"Promise me."  
  
"I promise I'll behave myself!"  
  
"Okay then, that's settled." They re-entered the briefing room and this time CJ kept her laughter inside.  
  
"Now, tell us how you got here." SG-1 looked at each other.  
  
"We actually have no idea whatsoever how we ended up here."  
  
"You can't travel to different universes through the Ring so you must have done it on the planet you were visiting." Samuel looked at his counterpart.  
  
"Daniel, did you touch anything in that temple?"  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"We touched the floor." CJ looked at the feminine side of the table. "And the door. And the grass and the air."  
  
"CJ." She looked at the Colonel. "Shut up!"  
  
"Mmm...Yes, Sir!"  
  
"Wow! I admire your CJ. She really listens to what you guys say. She's really disciplined."  
  
"Our CJ? So you mean that there's a CJ in this universe too?" The boy that had 'faced' the window in the control room entered the briefing room. Now they could see what he was wearing on his feet, roller blades. "I guess, this is your CJ?"  
  
"It's JC, Ma'am." He stopped in front of Sam and saluted. CJ was staring at her counterpart.  
  
"Oh man! Is he...me? Oh man!" The guy came around the table and sat himself down next to his counterpart.  
  
"Yo, what's up?"  
  
"Oh man!" CJ bumped her head against the table. "You got to be kidding me, right! You guys get these cool counterparts and I get the loser! Oh man!" CJ sighed desperately.  
  
"Uhm, I don't want to interrupt this fine conversation, but we have only 48 hours before that shifting-thing will start to occur." Jack looked at the General.  
  
"Entropic cascade failure, Sir."  
  
"Whatever!" Both Jack and Jackie replied at once. They gazed at each other. - Oh boy, this is weird! -  
  
"Then we have 48 hours to get to know each other a little better and then we might even be able to help each other with any problems we might have." General Hammond stood up from her chair and left the two SG-1 teams alone. Before she entered her office she turned around to Colonel Jackie O'Neill. "You give our guests a tour through the facility?"  
  
"Yes, Ma'am, I will." General Georgia Hammond disappeared in her office and closed the door so that she could go on with what ever she was doing in perfect silence.  
  
"So, I guess that you guys know what the facility looks like." SG-1 nodded in agreement. "Then I suppose we can help each other with our specific problem." They all nodded in agreement.  
  
"Could we grab something to eat first, because I feel hungry." Samuel stood up and walked to the stairs. "Anyone care to join me?" They all stood up and followed him to the mess. On their way to it they picked up Uncle James.  
  
They all took a smile bite of their respective meals. It was now a good time to get to know each other and ask the usual questions about the Goa'uld, the Tok'ra and others.  
  
"Uhm, Samuel, do you guys have Goa'ulds in this universe?" SG-1 looked at the Major.  
  
"Yes, we do. They're pretty cool, actually."  
  
"Huh?" SG-1 almost choked in their food.  
  
"You say 'cool'?" Sam looked confused at her counterpart.  
  
"Yeah, we meet with Apophis on a regular base. He's a very cute guy. He's a little gay, though."  
  
"Apophis cute and gay!"  
  
"I'm startin' to like this world. Don't you, Sir?" Jack looked at CJ.  
  
"Hey CJ, why do you always say Sir or Ma'am? Don't you ever use their names?"  
  
"They're my teachers and out of respect, I guess. I do use their names but only when I'm alone with them."  
  
"And what about your uncle?"  
  
"Aunt, you mean. Just Aunt J or Dr. Fraiser."  
  
"What are you, a boring kid?"  
  
"Boring! You say she's boring!" Daniel looked at JC and grinned. "She's anything but boring!"  
  
"Teal'c, are you still First Prime of Apophis?"  
  
"No, I am not. In our world, he is cruel and hated by many."  
  
"Oh, I see."  
  
Suddenly they could hear a voice of a woman yelling through the intercom.  
  
"Attention all personal! Anyone seen my glasses?"  
  
"Is that.Hammond?" Daniel looked at the other SG-1.  
  
"Yeah, that's my CO. I'll better go help her search for her glasses before she gets cranky again. It was nice meeting you all and maybe we see each other later today." With that Jackie left the mess.  
  
Then another more familiar sound came through the intercom.  
  
"Attention all personal, offworld-activation! Unknown source!" The local members of SG-1 jumped up from their chairs and ran back to the control room.  
  
"Gee, they're fast!" Daniel and the rest of SG-1 stood up slowly and wandered back to the control room.  
  
They arrived in the control room just in time to see the traveller that came through the Gate.  
  
"CJ!"  
  
"I'm not laughing! Honestly, I'm not laughing! I am ... pffrrt!" CJ lost control and bursted into laughter again. This time Jack couldn't keep his amusement inside either. He felt the urge to share whatever he was thinking.  
  
"A little gay! He's ready for the Love Parade!" Sam and Daniel started to laugh. Teal'c looked confused at O'Neill.  
  
"What is that, the Love Parade?" Tears were rolling down the faces of every member of SG-1.  
  
When they finally managed to gain control over their emotions again, they could meet with Apophis in the briefing room.  
  
"Welcome to the base, Apophis!" General Hammond bowed in front of the young man. He sat himself down and that was the sign for the rest to sit themselves down too. "What brings you here?"  
  
"Oh my, what have we here? Two SG-1 teams!" Apophis looked from one team to the other.  
  
"They are from another universe."  
  
"Oh, hi!" He came closer towards them to take a better look. When he noticed Teal'c he got excited. "Oh, that's a Jaffa. And look at his muscles! His body is so perfect!" Teal'c looked at the man in front of him. Although our big guy can't be scared off that easily, he started to back away from this weird System Lord. Apophis waved at him and threw him a warm and tender smile. "Oh, well, then you might be able to help me."  
  
"What's wrong, Apophis? You seem worried about something?"  
  
"Yes, I am. There's another System Lord who has kidnapped my precious Amonet. Oh, I'm so desperate. I really don't know what to do anymore." With that Apophis started to cry. Teal'c seemed to be confused when he saw how his counterpart ran to her master and started to comfort him. When Apophis had regained control over his emotions again they could ask him more about this System Lord.  
  
"You know who he is?"  
  
"Yes, he's so ugly. He's not worthy of Amonet. And besides, he's not even gay. His name is...uh...Heru'ur something."  
  
"Heru'ur!" Five faces looked in his direction.  
  
"You guys know him?"  
  
"Hell yeah, we know him! He's as evil as Apo....he's evil!" Jack looked the other way and hoped that Apophis hadn't heard him.  
  
"How can we help you, Sir?" It was Danielle who asked the question. It was the first time SG-1 heard her say something.  
  
"Could.could you ask the Tok'ra to search for Heru'ur's vessel? I would be so grateful if they would do that for me!" Apophis looked at the local SG-1 team. He gave them a pleading look. Samuel looked at his General. He knew that it wasn't going to be easy to get the Tok'ra so far that they would help Apophis. Although he appeared to be a good guy, they still had some difficulties trusting him.  
  
"General, what do you think?"  
  
"We can try to reach the Tok'ra. Maybe they want to do this little effort. Major, send a message to the Tok'ra and say it's urgent but don't tell them the real reason why they have to come!"  
  
"Yes Sir!" Samuel left the briefing room.  
  
"Colonel Jack O'Neill, if we find Heru'ur's ship, are you then willing to help us defeat him and bring Amonet back to Chulak where he belongs?"  
  
"Can I have a minute alone with my team to think that over?"  
  
"Yes, you can! Ok people, let's give these people some time to discuss this matter in private. Colonels, I'll be in my office if you need me! Dismissed!" The local team and Apophis left the briefing room.  
  
"Well guys, what do we think about this.strange mission?" Jack's team members were looking at each other. They didn't really know what he expected from them.  
  
"We despise Apophis! And everything that comes even close to being Goa'uldish!" CJ gave Jack the answer he wanted to hear but he could feel that a 'but' was on its way. "But, in this universe he seems to be a good guy!" Again they all nodded in agreement. "We can go home and miss one heck of a 'crazy' adventure, or stay here for a little while longer and kick some Goa'uld's asses!" CJ grinned and looked at her friends.  
  
"CJ, what would you like to do?"  
  
"What do you think, Sam?"  
  
"I think you would die to go for this 'crazy' adventure." A big grin appeared on CJ's face.  
  
"Come on, who wouldn't?"  
  
"Sir, what do you think?" Sam looked at her CO. They could see he was thinking the whole thing over.  
  
"We could vote for it?" He looked from one team member to the other. "Who's in favour of this 'crazy' adventure?" Four hands flew up in the air. He smiled. "Should've known that! Oh, what the hell! Let's kick some Goa'uld's ass!"  
  
"Yeeeeeehaaaaaaaa!!!"  
  
"Attention all personal, offworld-activation! Unknown source!" As soon as they heard the speaker's voice, SG-1 walked to the control room. The others were already there, as would be expected. Jackie could see that they had made a decision about whether they wanted to be in or out. It was a clear IN.  
  
"It's the Tok'ra, Ma'am!"  
  
"Sam?" CJ was whispering. She clearly didn't want the rest to know what she was going to ask.  
  
"Mmm."  
  
"Doesn't that Lieutenant behind the computer remind you of Simmons?" Sam took a better look at the Lieutenant, turned back to CJ and smiled. "See, I knew it!"  
  
"Open the Iris, Gracie!"  
  
"Gracie?" SG-1 looked confused at each other. They hadn't a chance to think about it seriously because the Tok'ra came through the event-horizon. They went to the gate room to meet with them.  
  
"Welcome to Earth! It's good to see you, Jacoba!" Georgia and Jacoba gave each other a big hug. SG-1 was staring at these familiar faces.  
  
"Uh Sam, you think that Jacoba is."  
  
"Shut up! I don't want to hear about it!" Jack, Daniel and CJ were smiling at each other.  
  
"Jacoba, let me introduce you to my 'new' SG-1 team!"  
  
"New team?"  
  
"They are from an alternate universe."  
  
"Oh really, that must be interesting." The General came towards SG-1 and started to introduce them.  
  
"That are Colonel Jack O'Neill, Major Sam Carter, Dr. Daniel Jackson, Teal'c and CJ Fraiser."  
  
"It's nice to meet you, Ma'am!"  
  
"Nice to meet you too! Major Carter?" Sam looked at the woman. She knew what she was going to say. "You could be my son's twin sister."  
  
"Really!" She smiled at him and hoped that someone could help her out of this awkward situation. CJ understood the message and helped her out.  
  
"So, you are hosting who?"  
  
"Selma is the name. And this is Fred, host of Nick." She pointed at the young man that was with her. CJ waved at him.  
  
At that moment Apophis entered the gate room.  
  
"What is he doing here?"  
  
"He has a problem. Another System Lord, by the name of Heru'ur, has kidnapped his life partner, Amonet. He requested our help.and yours."  
  
"He wants our help!" Selma started to get angry. The Tauri had deceived them. If she had known that it was Apophis they had to come for she wouldn't have come at all.  
  
"Come on, Mom! Give him what he needs! He's a good guy, you know that." Samuel looked at his mother and then he glanced at Apophis.  
  
"Nick, what do you think?"  
  
"I think that Samuel is right, Ma'am. We could do something for him just this once." Selma needed to think it over. A few minutes and an awkward silence later she had made up her mind.  
  
"Oh, alright! What do you need?" Apophis started to smile and came towards Selma.  
  
"I would like to know where this villain, Heru'ur, is situated?"  
  
"Ok, but then we have to go aboard a Tok'ra ship."  
  
"Uh girls, I don't want to interrupt but the clock is ticking away for us."  
  
"We know, Jack. Let's leave at once!" The local team left the gate room to get themselves ready. SG-1 started to check their gear again. They knew it was alright but they could never be sure enough.  
  
The Gate had opened with a loud kawoosh. - Few! Even in an alternate universe the Gate makes that lovely sound! - CJ was staring at the Ring. She didn't notice that the rest of the team had already left through the event-horizon.  
  
"Hey CJ, are you not coming?"  
  
"Huh? What?" CJ looked around and saw only JC standing in front of her.  
  
"Are you coming or what?"  
  
"Yeah, I'm coming." They both went through the Gate together.  
  
On the other side they rolled down the stairs and bumped against those who were trying to get up again.  
  
"Oh, what do I hate that!"  
  
"Hate what, CJ?"  
  
"When the Chapa'ai spits out its travellers!" The two teams were up and about in no time. The two Tok'ra members guided them towards a spot. When they were all standing at the spot, they realised it would be better if one team at a time would be transported up. SG-1 took the last train.  
  
They all went to the control room where Jacoba searched for Heru'ur's ship. It didn't take her long before she found it.  
  
"Darling, you found his ship?" Apophis was following everything over Jacoba's shoulder.  
  
"Yes, I managed to locate his ship."  
  
"Oh Amonet, my dearest, here I come!" SG-1 looked at him. - He is a real freak! - "Samuel, will you destroy the ship and that nasty Goa'uld?" He looked pleadingly at his favourite SGC-member. Samuel was considering the possibility, but he didn't really know how he was supposed to blow up a Cheops-ship.  
  
"Colonel, what do you think?" Both Jack and Jackie looked in Samuel's direction.  
  
"I think." The two Colonels looked at each other.  
  
"Mmm, sorry! Go ahead! He's your 2IC."  
  
"Let's try to get on board without getting caught. We will then try to locate and free Amonet and afterwards we might try to blow up Heru'ur's ship, ok Major!"  
  
"Fine by me, Ma'am!" The foundations to a good plan had started to build- up. The two teams made themselves ready to board the ship of the enemy.  
  
"Ok, you girls.and guys ready for transportation?" Jacoba looked at his new- formed troops. They all nodded. "At the same time I'm transporting you to his ship, I'm going to attack him with some death gliders so that their attention is somewhere else, ok?" Again her troops nodded. "Ok, here goes!" The two teams had to get very close to each other if they didn't want to loose an arm or a leg, or something far more important, during the transportation.  
  
"Well, there are always things that are the same in every universe, and this is certainly one of those things." They looked around to see where exactly they had landed. Jackie made radio contact with Jacoba to tell her that they had arrived on the ship. Danielle had found a door and opened it. Behind it was a long hallway that split into two directions, left and right.  
  
"Ok, let's split up. Jack, your team takes the left side, we take the right! As soon as any of us has found Amonet we make contact with one another!"  
  
"Are you gonna blow up the ship?"  
  
"As soon as we have Amonet, you may attach all your explosives to the ship! And when we go back to our ship, this one goes 'BOOM'! Ok, let's go! Good luck, Colonel O'Neill."  
  
"You too, Colonel!" The two teams took their sides of the hallway and started their search for Amonet through the vessel.  
  
SG-1 was lucky. They didn't encounter many Jaffa and they were the ones who found Apophis' beloved Amonet. They had, on the other hand, some problems convincing the young man that he was in good hands. He didn't want to believe their story about the alternate universe. It was only after they had made radio contact with the other SG-1 that he believed them.  
  
"Colonel O'Neill, come in, please!"  
  
"Yes Colonel!" A radiovoice came through.  
  
"We found Amonet, but we are having a hard time convincing him that he's safe with us. Could you tell him we're okay?"  
  
"Amonet, I know that it's weird to see a practically male SG-1 but they are cool! You're safe with them!" Amonet looked at the radio and started to smile.  
  
"Thanks, Colonel!"  
  
"We'll meet each other back in that transportation room. Plant as many bombs as you possibly can! I don't want any leftovers when this ship explodes!"  
  
"Okay, we heard your order." O'Neill turned off the radio and turned to his team mates. "You heard the woman! Let's go back and mine this place!" SG-1 and Amonet left the room and went back to the transportation room.  
  
Unfortunately Heru'ur had found out about the decoy and had ordered a search through out his vessel for the intruders. He wasn't too happy with his visitors. The only place he hadn't swept out yet was the transportation room. When both teams arrived at the room they could see that it was now guarded by two falcon guards.  
  
"Damn, they are on to us! We'll probably have to fight our way back in!"  
  
"Colonel O'Neill, it looks as if we have a small problem!"  
  
"Are we going to fight our way in?"  
  
"You want to take that risk? I've got two civilians with me that can barely shoot a beer can from a fence if they would stand right in front of it." As far SG-1 could see the other team they could see that the civilians, who were mentioned, were looking shamefully to the floor.  
  
"Oh man, you're not going to tell me that my counterpart can't shoot!" CJ looked at Jack.  
  
"Luckily, you can! You even zatted yourself!" Jack smiled at his pupil who turned a little into a shameful color. "Colonel, my two civilians can perfectly take care of themselves! I'm sure that yours can do that too! They 'do' have a gun or a zat, don't they?"  
  
"They have a gun, yes. But what's a zat?"  
  
"Let me explain that later to you! It's now time for some action if we ever want to get out of here!"  
  
"Ok, we'll go in five minutes on my mark!"  
  
"Okido Ma'am!" Jack looked at his team. Jackie was doing the same thing with hers.  
  
"Teal'c, you make sure that nothing happens to Amonet! Daniel, you're with me! CJ, you stay with Sam! All clear?"  
  
"Yes Sir!" His team mumbled in agreement.  
  
"Danielle, you're with Teal'c! Teal'c make sure she doesn't hurt herself again! Samuel, you look out for JC. I'll help that other team with keeping Amonet safe! All clear?"  
  
"Yes Ma'am!"  
  
"Colonel, you ready!"  
  
"We are when you are!"  
  
"Ok then, on my mark! .NOW!"  
  
The two teams ran towards the two guards. It took them only two zat blasts and a few bullets to get them out of the way. Danielle opened the door but a surprise was waiting inside. Heru'ur had placed himself in the middle of the room with some guards surrounding him. If Daniel hadn't saved his counterpart she would have been killed by a sudden zatblast.  
  
"Now what?" Jack looked at his counterpart who was sitting on the other side of the door.  
  
"Fight our way in?" She looked back at her strong and handsome counterpart.  
  
"How many are there on my side? There are 4 guards on yours!" Jackie peeked inside and counted 4 guards on Jack's side. She showed Jack four fingers.  
  
"Ok, that's 8 guards and Heru'ur. That makes 9. We can handle that."  
  
"What about Danielle, JC and Amonet? You saw that those two civilians can't handle a gun."  
  
"Jackie, I've got a plan! Or at least I think I have."  
  
"Ok, let me hear it!" Jack took a deep breath and started to tell her the plan. "My team plus your Teal'c and your Major are going to fight the Goa'uld! You make sure that your two civilians and Amonet make it back safe to our ship! I'll make sure that we blow this ship up and arrive in one piece in Jacoba's ship! All clear or are there any questions?"  
  
"Are you taking CJ and Daniel with you?"  
  
"Yes, I am. They can take care of themselves perfectly well."  
  
"You ok with this?" Jack looked at his friends. CJ's color had gone from red to white. "CJ, if you're not okay with this then I'll make sure that Colonel Jackie looks after you too, but ."  
  
"No! I'm staying!"  
  
"Just what I was thinking! Listen I'm going to throw a smoke bomb inside so that those guys get a little confused. We go in and start spreading some chaos so that Jackie can take her cargo home. To make sure that we don't shoot or kill anyone of our own, we line up and stay close to each other. CJ, no stupidities, okay! All clear?" They nodded in agreement. They made themselves ready for the upcoming apocalypse. Jack took the smoke bomb out of his supplies and threw it nicely into the room. Smoke drifted out into the hallway. "Ok kids, here we go!"  
  
The team stormed into the room and started to take out the guards one by one. When the smoke started to disappear they could see 8 bodies lying all over the place. Heru'ur was nowhere to be seen. Jackie had transported her cargo back safely.  
  
"Everybody okay?"  
  
"I think I dislocated my shoulder!" CJ was rubbing over her painful shoulder.  
  
"Count me in!" Daniel was holding his wounded arm.  
  
"Uh Sir, where did Heru'ur go?" Sam looked around but didn't see him among the dead bodies.  
  
"We can't wait for him to come back. Let's go back!"  
  
"Uh Sir, don't forget to detonate the bombs!" Samuel gave the detonation system in Jack's hand a brief look.  
  
"No, I won't." They all went to the middle of the room. The rings came up and that was the sign for the team to detonate the bombs. When they arrived back at Jacoba's ship, they could witness the explosion that destroyed Heru'ur's ship.  
  
Back on the ship they could take care of all the scratches and other injuries that had come up during the fight.  
  
"Hey CJ, do you want me to put your shoulder back into place?" Sam came towards CJ, getting herself ready for the upcoming torture.  
  
"No! Stay away! You'll only hurt me more! Nobody is gonna touch my shoulder except for Aunt J!" Sam smiled.  
  
"Okay, what ever you say, CJ!"  
  
They arrived back on time at the SGC to get to know another strange habit of the alternate universe SGC.  
  
"Welcome home, SG-1!" Georgia was standing in the gate room. They all had to go to the infirmary to get treated but still CJ didn't want to be treated. She didn't want anybody else touching her shoulder.  
  
"Ma'am, with all due respect, but I think it's better if we leave now considering CJ can't keep on walking with a dislocated shoulder."  
  
"I understand that Colonel O'Neill, but we can give her something for the pain."  
  
"You guys can't go yet!" Samuel came towards SG-1. "It's Thursday-evening! It's bowling-night!"  
  
"Bowling-night?" SG-1 looked at each other confused. Although they were starting to get used to the strange habits of their counterparts they kept on surprising them.  
  
"Yes, every Thursday the guys go play bowling in town and the girls drink tea and chat." As soon as Sam and CJ heard the tea-part they looked desperately at Jack shaking their heads a little.  
  
"Uh well, maybe another time, ok!" Jack had seen the looks that his 2IC and his pupil had given him. "We'd better go back! They're expecting us back any time now." Samuel looked disappointed, as was the rest of the SGC, but he knew that their friends in their universe were waiting for them to come back.  
  
"Yeah, well maybe another time, then!" Samuel disappeared into the control room to dial the coordinates of the planet where SG-1 had gone to in the first place. He only came back to say goodbye. He had really enjoyed their company, especially the female side of SG-1.  
  
"Ok, here we are again! Daniel, lead the way to that temple!" SG-1 went back to the temple. The whole scene repeated itself. Daniel wanted the doors to open but failed miserably. Then he asked for some help which he got from Teal'c. Doors were still hard to open. Again they decided to do it the hard way, SG-1 vs. temple door.  
  
"Oh, this is going to hurt!" They gave it one big push and there it went. The doors flew open and SG-1 ended up once more on the floor in a heap.  
  
"Oh no, not again! Carter, get the hell of me!"  
  
"Oh sorry, Sir!" The temple was, as expected, still empty.  
  
"Are we back in our universe, yet?" CJ gritted her teeth while asking that question.  
  
"I hope so!"  
  
"You hope so! You better know so because this." CJ pointed at her shoulder. ".'bloody' hurts!"  
  
"You want some more painkillers, CJ?" Sam was already looking for them just in case.  
  
"No!" CJ gave Sam an exasperated look that clearly said 'I'd rather die then taking pain meds!'.  
  
"Then stop whining."  
  
"Okay kids, let's go home! Really home this time!" SG-1 left the temple and this time Daniel didn't try to keep Jack on the planet.  
  
Sam dialed out and hoped that they would end up in the right universe this time.  
  
"Attention all personal, offworld-activation! Unknown source!" General Hammond went to the control room and gave the order to close the iris.  
  
"It's SG-1, Sir!"  
  
"Ok, open the iris!" As soon as the iris opened SG-1 stepped through the event-horizon. They were looking for a familiar face. When they saw General Hammond enter the gate room they all sighed. - OK, one thing is already correct! -  
  
"General, you don't knit, do you?" Hammond gave O'Neill a funny look and immediately asked him if he felt all right. "Just peachy, Sir!"  
  
"Home, at last!" CJ placed herself on the ramp and promptly lost consciousness.  
  
"Is she alright, Major?"  
  
"Yeah well, this is what you get when you wanna be a tough girl."  
  
"General, it's going to be a 'very' interesting debriefing!" With that they filed out of the gate room, leaving a dumbstruck General and a 'very' unconscious CJ behind. 


End file.
